Narcissist Prayer: Explained With New Biblical Vision
Dayna Craig’s short poem ‘The Narcissist Prayer’ resonates deeply with those who have endured the complexities of a relationship with a narcissist. It vividly portrays the emotional turmoil and inner workings of the narcissistic mind along with their manipulative behaviors familiar to survivors of narcissistic abus
The Narcissist Prayer
That didn’t happen.
And if it did, it wasn’t that bad.
And if it was, that’s not a big deal.
And if it is, that’s not my fault.
And if it was, I didn’t mean it.
And if I did, you deserved it.
Now, let’s give a voice to the other side, the often unheard narrative of the narcissist’s victim:
The Victim’s Narcissist Prayer
Yes, it did happen.
And it was more than bad; it hurt.
Each time you chipped away a piece of my soul.
But I recognize, it’s not my burden to carry; the fault lies with you.
You may have intended to harm, but I choose to heal.
I am strong, deserving of respect and love.
You no longer define my worth.
Narcissism in the Bible
The Bible does not directly mention narcissism, but it portrays instances of narcissistic behavior through stories of poor behavior that remind us of what we now recognize as narcissistic personality disorder.
King Saul: The Perils of Jealousy and Pride
In the Old Testament, King Saul’s story serves as a cautionary tale of how narcissism can corrode leadership and personal relationships. His jealousy, fragile ego, and rash decisions paint a vivid picture of the turmoil and destruction that narcissistic behaviors can inflict, especially on those caught in their wake.
For anyone who has felt the sting of narcissistic abuse and the ‘walking on egg shells’ feeling, Saul’s story is a testament to the deep-seated insecurity and potential for harm that lies within the narcissistic personality.
Saul’s jealousy, “fragile ego,” and impulsive behavior are typical workings of a narcissist. David, once favored by Saul, had to flee for his life. Many people can relate to this their experience.
Saul’s story reminds us that the deep-seated insecurities and potential for harm inherent in narcissism are not new, serving as a cautionary tale.
Pharisees: Entitlement and Hypocrisy
Turning to the Pharisees embody the sense of entitlement, obsession with outward appearances, and a deep desire for power and control characteristic of narcissism.
Jesus’ rebuke, “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence.
Matthew 23:25, strikingly captures the essence of narcissistic hypocrisy. His analogy of them as “whitewashed tombs,” pristine on the outside yet rotten within, will resonate deeply with anyone who has ever felt diminished or devalued by a narcissist’s superficial charm and hidden malice.
For those enduring the pain inflicted by a narcissist, Jesus’ counsel to focus on inner healing.
By focusing on your internal landscape—addressing any open wound (s), fostering resilience, nurturing your spirit and stop feeding into the narcissist supply. It’s not your fault for the narcissist actions, you can only change your reactions to their behavior. It’s crucial to acknowledge that the behavior of the narcissist is not your fault or burden to bear.
They alone are accountable for their own mistakes and actions and to do the necessary work to initiate internal change.
Consider this: if you had control over their behavior, wouldn’t you choose to fill them with love, kindness, gentleness, understanding, and empathy?
Understanding that you are not responsible for someone else’s actions is a powerful realization. By accepting this, you free yourself to concentrate on your own journey of healing and nurturing your sense of self-worth.
The story of Nabal and Abigail from the Bible vividly portrays a narcissistic relationship against the backdrop of ancient customs and societal expectations. David, having safeguarded Nabal’s sheep and shepherds, seeks hospitality—a societal norm.
Nabal’s response exhibits classic narcissistic behaviors: dismissive, taking advantage of others, lack of empathy and belittling. He rebuffs David, treating him not as the future king of Israel but as an unworthy fugitive. This reaction provokes David’s wrath and prompts plans for retaliation against Nabal’s household.
Familiar to those who have navigated relationships with narcissistic partners, Abigail, Nabal’s wife, steps in to avert disaster. She prepares a feast for David, blesses him, and humorously mentions that her husband’s name means ‘fool.’ And Abigail forms her own form of a Narcissist Prayer. Thanks to her prudence, David refrains from attacking. Yet, Abigail chooses not to inform Nabal about her actions immediately to avoid worsening the situation.
When Abigail eventually reveals her actions to Nabal, the narrative takes a somber turn. Nabal’s reaction leads to his sudden downfall, illustrating a stark and divine disapproval of his behavior. This part of the story, while tragic, emphasizes the serious consequences of harmful actions and attitudes.
Despite the grim outcome for Nabal, Abigail’s wisdom and David’s tempered response offer a glimmer of hope and redemption. The story suggests that, although changing a narcissist’s core behavior might be beyond our reach, wise and measured actions can still mitigate harm and foster positive outcomes, sometimes surpassing our expectations.
Jezebel and Ahab: A Co-dependent Dance of Narcissism
Jezebel and King Ahab’s story could be straight out of a dramatic soap opera, illustrating the chaos that erupts when a full-blown narcissist (Jezebel) unites with someone who also exhibits narcissistic tendencies (Ahab), amplifying each other’s worst behaviors.
Their narrative intensifies due to Ahab’s desperate need for Naboth’s vineyard, leading Jezebel deploying manipulative tactics to steal this land.
This situation highlights how narcissistic traits such as entitlement, manipulation, a need for control, and a blatant disregard for the welfare can amplify in a narcissist relationships.
Ahab’s readiness to support Jezebel’s plots, his push to impose the worship of Baal, and their combined efforts to silence the prophets—alongside Jezebel’s exploitation of Ahab’s authority for her own ends—unveil the intricate dance of narcissists.
Their story emphasizes the critical need for self-awareness and the importance of breaking free from cycles of manipulation and dependency, urging a path towards healthier, more autonomous relationships.
Lucifer: Understanding Narcissism Roots
Let’s dive into the story of the original narcissist, Lucifer. His ambition wasn’t merely to emulate God; he aimed to surpass Him, seeking adoration for himself over the rightful devotion to God.
His ability to charm and manipulate was so effective that he convinced a third of the angels to join his cause.
Lucifer’s behavior strikingly mirrors that of a narcissistic partner who stifles your growth and deters you from achieving your destiny, making you feel unworthy and insufficient.
Some find it fascinating to discuss the potential link between “evil spirits” and narcissistic behaviors. It’s interesting how those displaying narcissistic traits seem to operate from a similar “playbook,” suggesting a consistency in behaviors and tactics that span across cultures and time periods.
While the idea of “evil spirits” influencing narcissistic behavior leans into the realm of belief, the pervasive patterns observed globally show that narcissism is a complex, deeply embedded aspect of the human psyche.
Facing the challenges that come with narcissism, whether through spiritual understanding or psychological insights, demands deep knowledge and thoughtful reflection. In the end, we’re responsible for our actions and decisions. Dealing with narcissism, especially in relationships, often means seeking professional advice to help navigate the arduous journey towards understanding and healing.
Biblical Transformations: Overcoming Narcissism
Below are Bible stories of transformation offer hope, even for those exhibiting narcissistic behaviors.
King Nebuchadnezzar: Pride’s Transformation
King Nebuchadnezzar’s journey, detailed in the book of Daniel, serves as a striking example. This powerful ruler’s escalating pride led him to construct a statue for his own worship, a clear testament to his arrogance, need for constant affirmation, desire for special treatment and self-adulation. His insistence on being worshipped as a deity and attributing his success solely to himself drew divine displeasure, resulting in a harsh divine rebuke.
The turning point came through a humbling experience in the wilderness, where Nebuchadnezzar confronted the fallout of his arrogance. This period of introspection and hardship led him to regain his sanity and recognize the sovereignty of God. The king summarizes his conversion in this simple verse Daniel 4:34: “At the end of that time, I, Nebuchadnezzar, raised my eyes toward heaven, and my sanity was restored. Then I praised the Most High; I honored and glorified him who lives forever.”
King Nebuchadnezzar’s transition from pride to humility shows that change is possible, even for the most self-centered individuals. This shift, often ignited by significant personal crises, a deep need to change or divine intervention, highlights the capacity for transformation.
This story imparts a vital lesson on addressing narcissistic traits: the most effective approach may involve stepping back and entrusting the situation to a higher power. Acknowledging the moment to distance oneself from a narcissist and letting divine guidance lead the way is crucial for healing and progress.
Queen Esther: Courage Against Narcissism
The story of Esther provides a profound look at confronting narcissistic behavior, illustrated by King Xerxes’ interactions with his queens. Xerxes treatment of Vashti has the signs of an abusive relationship, demanding she display herself to his guests, objectifying her for his pride. Vashti’s refusal and subsequent dismissal(silent treatment forever) highlight Xerxes’ intolerance for dissent, showcasing his narcissistic wrath.
Esther enters this volatile scenario as the new queen, facing a critical challenge: rescuing her people from annihilation. Aware of Vashti’s fate and Xerxes’ potential for lethal retribution, Esther’s situation is fraught with danger. Yet, her approach is marked by strategic patience and wisdom. She waits for the opportune moment to reveal her heritage and the threat against her people, appealing to Xerxes with tact.
Moved by Esther’s plea, Xerxes exhibits a surprising capacity for empathy, a soft spot and reverses the deadly decree and thus saving Esther and her people. This transformation in Xerxes hints at the potential for change within those who display narcissistic tendencies, suggesting that strategic, compassionate engagement on occasion might lead to positive shifts in behavior.
Esther’s story acts as a beacon of hope, demonstrating that it is possible to effect change in unique challenges. However, dealing with narcissistic personalities requires careful navigation. Seeking professional help when dealing with such complex dynamics is advisable to ensure safety and well-being.
Leslie Vernick, a licensed clinical social worker, drawing from her experience with a narcissistic mother and specializing in navigating narcissistic marriages biblically, offers invaluable insights in The Emotionally Destructive Marriage: How to Find Your Voice and Reclaim Your Hope.
This book equips readers to recognize, confront, and heal from emotional abuse through practical, biblical advice, encouraging the establishment of boundaries and the fostering of healthy change.
Another excellent source to learn how to deal with a Narcissist is Dr Les Carter Surviving Narcissism he has tons of YouTube videos.
Bible Verses About Narcissism
If you are looking for guidance on how to deal with narcissistic behavior, you may find comfort in reading Bible verses that address the issue. Here are a few examples
Addressing Negative Behaviors and Seeking Justice
These verses remind us that arrogance and harmful actions have consequences, urging us to pursue justice and humility.
“Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.” Proverbs 16:18 (NIV)
“His trouble shall return upon his own head, and his violent dealing shall come down upon his own pate.” Psalm 7:16 (NIV)
“He delivers me from my enemies; You also lift me up above those who rise against me; You have delivered me from the violent man.” Psalm 18:48 (NIV)
Emphasizing Humility and Love
These passages highlight the importance of valuing others and acting out of love, not selfish ambition or pride.
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.” Philippians 2:3 (NIV)
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 (NIV)
Divine Protection and Guidance
Here, we’re assured of God’s protection and guidance, offering comfort in times of fear and uncertainty.
“Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” Psalm 23:4 (NIV)
“He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, ‘He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.'” Psalm 91:1-2 (NIV)
In dealing with narcissism, wisdom often means choosing silence over defense, as these verses suggest, guiding us to maintain our integrity and peace.
“In thee, O LORD, do I put my trust: let me never be put to confusion.” Psalm 71:1 (KJV)
“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7 (NKJV)
“But he (Jesus) did not answer even one accusation.” Matthew 27:14 (NET)
“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1 (NLT)
“And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32 (NLT)
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Ephesians 4:29 (NIV)
Protection and Knowing God Is Helping You
These verses affirm God’s continual protection over our lives, reassuring us of His presence and strength in every challenge.
“The Lord will keep you from all harm—He will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.” Psalm 121:7-8 (NIV)
“The Lord is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid?” Psalm 27:1 (NIV)
“Deliver me, my God, from the hand of the wicked, from the grasp of those who are evil and cruel.” Psalm 71:4 (NIV)
Free PDF Bible Verses
FREE INSTANT DOWNLOAD OF BIBLE VERSES TO HELP YOU DEAL WITH A NARCISSIST
Prayers for A Narcissist
One of the most powerful tools you have as a Christian is prayer. When dealing with a narcissist, it’s important to pray for them. Pray that God will soften their heart and help them to see the error of their ways. Pray that God will give you the strength and wisdom to deal with the situation in a way that honors Him.
Narcissist Prayer For My Husband
Heavenly Father, I come to You with a heart burdened by the challenges in my marriage. My husband’s pride, self-importance, and tendency to criticize constantly make me feel like I’m walking on eggshells.
I pray for Your guiding hand to lead him towards the path of humility, where he can truly appreciate the value and contributions of others. Please, Lord, restrain his words and actions, preventing him from causing hurt with his words.
Guide him to understand true leadership within our home is rooted in service, love, and respect, not in exerting dominance or control. Bless him with the ability to look beyond his own needs, to embrace our family with the kindness and compassion you display, drawing his strength from your model of unconditional love.
Holy Spirit, whisper your wisdom to him. Motivate him to seek help to want to change and showing him admitting vulnerability and seeking help is a courageous step towards healing.
I pray for our shared path forward to be marked with healing, forgiveness and grace, patience and empathy, and a loving relationship with Christ in the middle. Please, Lord, guide him towards the support he needs for genuine transformation, and grant me the wisdom to navigate our relationship and send help and support for me to show me what to do if my husband isn’t willing to change.
In Jesus’s mighty name, Amen
Narcissist Prayer for My Wife
Heavenly Father, my heart weighs heavy as I navigate the stormy seas of my marriage. The waves of anger and discontent from my wife cast long shadows, leaving me feeling diminished and unworthy. In moments when self-focus or overwhelming frustrations and fears ensnare her, I pray that you gently remind her of the profound joy in nurturing others and the peace that emanates from selfless, unconditional love.
Help her remember the love that brought us together and let that love be the key to unlocking any chains that bind her spirit.
Lead her toward those who offer comfort and wisdom, emboldening her to seek the professional support she needs. Inspire her, Lord, to embark on a journey of self-discovery, to find anew the inner strength and beauty that mirror Your love and grace. I earnestly seek the mending of our hearts and the rejuvenation of our bond, grounded in kindness, empathy, and mutual respect.
I pray our marriage, once weathered by storms, may flourish again, nurtured by your guidance and enveloped in your unfailing love. Amen.
Narcissist Prayer for My Mother
Heavenly Father, I seek Your guidance and wisdom for my mother. Grant her the clarity to recognize the impact of her words and actions on those she loves dearly. Help her relinquish her critical spirit and to see and appreciate me for my true self, rather than who she wishes me to be.
Fill her heart with your boundless love, guiding her to lead our family with empathy, care, and wisdom. Assist her to listen openly and offer advice that uplifts and strengthens, fostering an environment where each of us feels seen and valued.
Lord, grant me the strength to honor and respect my mother, all the while maintaining my dignity and self-worth. Guide me in establishing healthy boundaries that protect our relationship and my personal well-being.
Encourage her, God, to seek avenues for professional help growth, to find healing in Your presence, and to embrace the wisdom that comes from a life lived in service to others. May our family be a testament to your enduring love, a place where every member grows, not in the shadow of narcissism, but in the light of your grace and compassion.
Narcissist Prayer for My Father
Dear God, I lift my father to You, asking that You inspire him with the example of leadership You have set—leading with love and kindness instead of authority, anger, and commands.
Please help him see the impact of his actions and words, guiding him towards ways of expressing love that uplift and nurture, rather than causing harm or division. Grant him the courage to acknowledge his faults, to seek reconciliation where he has caused pain, and to embrace humility as his strength.”
I pray he remains open to Your guidance, Lord, as well as to the wisdom and support of those around him, recognizing the importance of professional help in his journey of personal growth.
Strengthen the bonds within our family, healing us with your love and grace, and creating a home environment where everyone feels valued, understood, and able to flourish. May a firm foundation of mutual respect and understanding support us all, reflecting your love in our interactions with one another. Amen.
Narcissist Prayer for a Sibling
Heavenly Father, guide my sibling on a path of self-discovery and change. Help them see the impact of their actions, leading them to a place of empathy and genuine connection. Instill in them a desire to build relationships based on respect and kindness, moving away from patterns of behavior that harm and divide.”
Provide them with the resources and professional support they need to navigate their journey toward healing. Help them distance themselves from enablers and those who perpetuate narcissistic behavior. May they find mentors and friends who embody your love and patience, inspiring them to develop in character and spirit. Let our relationship be an opportunity for mutual encouragement, enabling us both to learn and grow in Your grace. Amen.
Free Bible Study: Wisdom and Worth Against Narcissism
Free Bible Study Questions On Narcissism Instant download. It’s printable and fillable once downloaded type directly on form.
Lord, grant me the wisdom to tread through this relationship with both grace and discernment. Shield me from harm and steer my path toward peace and restoration. Let me see my true value through Your eyes, empowering me to make choices that foster my well-being and respect my inner spirit.
Lord, place a protective barrier around my mind and heart, turning away the pain inflicted by those who profess their love but harm me instead. Holy Spirit, grasp my hand, embolden me to speak up when silence would be easier, to stand firm when confrontation is necessary, and above all, to discern the truth in every interaction. Help me not play the role of the victim but to walk in victory in these circumstances.
Empower me, Lord, to resist contributing to or being diminished by the narcissistic demands placed upon me. Strengthen me financially, spiritually, and emotionally, equipping me to stand independently and resiliently in every aspect of life.
Encourage me, Lord, to reach out for support and guidance from professionals and those who have walked this path before me. May I draw strength from the surrounding community, find comfort in Your unwavering presence, and gain clarity from Your teachings. Lead me from the darkness of manipulation into the radiance of your love, where genuine healing and personal growth can flourish. Amen.
Final Thoughts
As we wrap up our journey through the insights of the Narcissistic Prayer, I hope and pray it illuminates the complex nature of narcissistic individuals, while also offering a beacon of empowerment for those caught in their web, encouraging them to find their voice and reclaim their hope. Navigating the challenges posed by the influence of a narcissist’s hands is undoubtedly difficult, but embarking on this path is crucial for your well-being and peace.
It’s essential to remember that a narcissist’s distorted perception of reality does not define who you are. Being entwined with a narcissist or facing struggles in breaking free doesn’t make you a terrible person. The key lies in recognizing that acting in your best interest involves nurturing your sense of self, establishing healthy boundaries, and seeking environments that affirm your intrinsic worth. Trust that God is with you, offering strength and guidance at every step towards healing and wholeness.
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