Chained by Cruelty: The Agunah Crisis Exposed Now

Getting a divorce is difficult for anyone, but for Jewish women, it can feel unbearable. Beyond the challenge of obtaining a civil divorce, Jewish law demands an additional step—a ‘get’, a formal document from the husband freeing the wife from the marriage. Without a get, a woman is bound/chained to her marriage under Jewish law and cannot remarry.

She’s called an agunah, a chained women.

The Injustice of the Agunah

This deep inequality exists because the husband can remarry, and Jewish law recognizes any children he has, while the woman, without a ‘get’, remains bound to the marriage. She cannot move forward. This tragic reality gives rise to the term agunah—a “chained” woman trapped in a marriage that no longer exists.

Although there are cases where men can face similar hardships if their wives refuse the get, this scenario disproportionately affects women. Tragically, some husbands—often with narcissistic tendencies—use the get as a manipulative weapon. It becomes an oppressive bargaining chip during divorce proceedings, forcing many women to submit or compromise just to obtain their freedom.

A Comparative Reflection

This struggle, though rooted in Jewish law, invites comparison to those seeking annulments in the Catholic Church. I’ve seen individuals endure the complex, often expensive annulment process, whether their marriages lasted just a year or spanned decades. While the traditions differ, the pain of navigating such systems while holding onto spiritual beliefs is similar.

However, the plight of the agunah is even more distressing. Unlike some other religious contexts, a husband who refuses to grant a divorce can still remarry and remain fully “accepted” within the Jewish community, leaving his wife trapped and unable to move forward with her life.

In modern times, this injustice has sparked creative activism: from viral social media campaigns to towns rallying together by displaying bumper stickers that openly call for the husband to “free the wife.” These efforts are a bold stand against the cruelty of withholding a get, shining a spotlight on the emotional and spiritual chains keeping so many women bound.

In Times of Loss/ Missing Husbands

Imagine being married to someone who vanishes without a trace, leaving no witnesses to confirm their death. In such cases, the wife remains legally and spiritually tethered to her missing spouse, unable to move forward. This heartbreaking situation leaves the woman classified as an agunah, bound to a marriage that may never truly end.

Throughout history, some men have mitigated the risk of such unforeseen tragedies by providing their wives with a “preemptive get”—a divorce document intended as a precautionary measure. This safety net ensures that, should the unthinkable occur, the woman would be free to remarry and rebuild her life.

This is not just an ancient problem. Following 9/11, DNA allowed enabled rabbis to identify Jewish men killed in the attack, thus preventing their wives from becoming agunot.

A Story Inspired by Agunot—63 Hours in Hell

The plight of agunot inspired the character Hannah in my book, 63 Hours in Hell. Hannah—a jilted bride—is the character whose groom vanished right after signing the marriage contract. Jewish law dictates that if no one witnessed the husband disappear, the wife remains married. Hannah becomes an agunah and stuck at her father’s home. Although people did not coin the term until 1901, Jewish women have faced this heartache for centuries.

In Hannah’s story, even as she finds herself in hell, her first thought is whether her missing husband might be there too. Did he die, or did he choose to abandon her? Her place as an agunah, living in a painful limbo, reflects not just her personal struggles but the sorrow of countless women whose fates rest in the hands of absent, indifferent, spiteful, or even narcissist husbands.

Biblical Reflections: The Story of Ruth

Hannah’s fictional journey and the real plight of an agunot situation resonate with the biblical story of Ruth. The Book of Ruth offers a narrative of loyalty, hope, and redemption.

When Ruth found herself widowed and destitute, she stayed steadfast in her faith. This loyalty led to her union with Boaz, who followed the legal customs of the time to marry her. One of these customs involved a symbolic act—a man removing his shoe and handing authority to Boaz to claim Ruth as his wife.

The story of Ruth contrasts the pain of waiting with the joy of renewal. Her marriage to Boaz represents not just love but healing, protection, and freedom. A woman in an agunot or any horrible situation can take hope from Ruth’s story—that even in unfair seasons of waiting and uncertainty, there is the possibility of redemption and restoration.

Hannah’s story, though fictional in 63 Hours in Hell, offers similar hope. It reminds us of God’s faithfulness, even when we feel abandoned. Her experience parallels that of the Church—the Bride of Christ—waiting for the return of our groom.

Revelation 19:7 echoes this hope:

“Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready.”(NIV)

Modern-Day Efforts to Help Agunot

The fight to break free from the chains of being an agunah is still ongoing, yet modern advocates are stepping up to support these women. Organizations and communities are finding creative ways to seek justice, including:

• Public protests and picketing to pressure resistant husbands to give their wives a ‘get’.

• Advising young men and women about the power of education, urging men to sign a preemptive ‘get’

• Advocacy groups that assist women in navigating the religious legal system.

If you or someone you know is navigating the challenge of obtaining a get, there are resources to help. Additionally, hear the heartbreaking yet inspiring story of one woman who waited 20 years for her release in this touching story.

Final Thoughts

The story of the agunah is one of profound pain—but also one of resilience. It is a window into a life where individuals can feel stuck and powerless, yet it also holds a larger truth: there is hope.

Even in the darkest seasons, God is at work, crafting something beautiful out of brokenness. The same assurance applies to anyone feeling trapped—whether in a broken relationship, a difficult circumstance, in a or by mistakes of the past. God doesn’t want His daughters in an abusive relationship. Get help so you won’t have to advocate alone.

Psalm 34:18 reminds us:

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

True freedom isn’t just about breaking physical chains—it’s about finding peace, healing, and restoration through faith. If you feel bound by circumstances or the actions of others, take heart: God loves you, and He has a good plan for your life, even during your challenges. He sees your pain, He carries your burdens, and He longs to lead you toward healing. Trust Him to guide you out of your sorrow and into something far greater than you could ever imagine. And if you are in an abusive situation call the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233